


emus

by kaleidoscope_eyes (TheGirlInYourMirror)



Category: All Time Low, Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Gay Jokes, Group chat, M/M, Texting, They're all somehow gay, but idk how the american schooling system works, sin - Freeform, so like british school
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 03:45:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7298161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGirlInYourMirror/pseuds/kaleidoscope_eyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>yet another group chat fic</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. spork

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Group Chat Gone Right](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6539347) by [camiisado](https://archiveofourown.org/users/camiisado/pseuds/camiisado). 



> Nicknames: urine=Brendon, sugarcane=Ryan, froyo= Joe, mom=Andy, Barakitten=Jack, Gaskank=Alex, peetza=Pete, sinnamon= Patrick, strawb=Gerard, frank=Frank, jawsh=Josh, tyjo=Tyler, Moikey= Mikey
> 
> this is partly based off me and my friends

strawb created the group 'emus'

strawb added urine, sugarcane, froyo, mom, Barakitten, Gaskank, peetza, sinnamon, frank, jawsh, tyjo, Moikey to the chat

sugarcane: what is this

sugarcane: i'm not emo

sinnamon: yeah right

sugarcane: what's that supposed to mean

jawsh: now children no fighting

sinnamon: josh save me from this emo fucker

sugarcane: patrick you are aware you are dating pete wentz

sugarcane: the pete wentz who goes to slam poetry and spams mems 24/7

peetza: DID SOMEBODY SAY

peetza: MEMES??????

jawsh: now look what you've done ryan

sugarcane: what have I unleashed

jawsh: actual hell

sinnamon: ryan you fucker pete just jumped up and ran out of science shouting about memes

sugarcane: you're not serious

sinnamon: i am

jawsh: he is I just saw him walk past my english class.

peetza: I WILL SERVE THE MEMES

peetza: MEMES FORVEVER

jawsh: pete u little shit go back to class

peetza: make me

jawsh: just GO TO CLASS YOU SPORK

peetza: what

sinnamon: spork

peetza: i am not a spork

sugarcane: shush you spork

peetza: nOt A sPoRk

jawsh: pete go back to science and stop hiding in the closet

peetza: how did you know

jawsh: I always know

Gaskank: been there

jawsh: wtf Alex how long have you been here

Gaskank: i've been here this whole time honey

Gaskank: watching

Gaskank: and waiting

jawsh: you sound like a stalker

Gaskank: who says i'm not a stalker


	2. free weed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mikey is a hoe
> 
> joe loves free weed

Barakitten: oooohhhh friends hey hey

strawb: I'm Gerard Way-Way

Barakitten: yes

Barakitten: yes you are

Barakitten: that is very accurate

strawb: well this is awkward someone come save me

Moikey: hello friends/ brother of mine

Moikey: it is I

Barakitten: oh look the twig is here

Moikey: fuck off im not a twig

strawb: yes you are you twig

strawb: you eat like 500000000000000000 kilos of food a day how do you do it

Barakitten: is it the calories you burn having sex

Moikey: maybe

Moikey: you can prove nothing

Moikey: *fades into the distance*

Barakitten: well that was fascinating

strawb: my brother is a hoe

Gaskank: Breaking news- Mikey stays thin by having sex on a regular basis

Barakitten: it's the new weight loss craze

Gaskank: hey Jack i've been putting a little weight on recently

Barakitten: oh no come over to my house we can exercise 

strawb: all my friends are hoes

urine: tru

urine: but what does that say about you

strawb: i know im a hoe i have been since birth

strawb: but my friends cannot accept that you are all yourself hoes

urine: im ur friend wow i feel blessed

strawb: you should

froyo: wow this chat is dead

urine: it was started yesterday

froyo: ye and its already dead

froyo: like seriously im not high enough 4 dis shit

urine: i'll come over

strawb: wait if there's getting high im coming

frank: damn i wanna join the weed party gee pick me up on the way

strawb: sure hun

froyo: yessss people are bringing me weed

frank: wait i have to bring weed?

froyo: I'm getting free weed yes

strawb: i was not aware i was now supplying joe with weed

urine: neither was I dude

froyo: yessssssssssssss bro free weed

froyo: fReE wEeD mofokas

froyo: i now love this chat

strawb: Joe i don't know if you're actually getting free weed 

froyo: FREE WEED

frank: shut up gee just let him be happy


	3. geeluminati

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> andy is such a m o m

peetza: Patrick i miss you

peetza: where are you

peetza: guys does anyone know where he is

frank: he's in english. with me. where you should be right now.

frank: pete go to english

peetza: fine

peetza: only because of him tho i h8 u frank

frank: awwww ly2 babs

mom: what is this

mom: are my sons breaking rules

peetza: no mom

frank: we were doing nothing

mom: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SKIPPING CLASS YOUNG MAN

peetza: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TYPING IN ALL CAPS SIR

mom: im sorry

mom: i let my anger get the better of me

peetza: its ok mom

peetza: its ok

urine: guys ok conspiracy theory

urine: gerard/mikey is the illuminati

frank: excuse u my husband and his brother are not the illuminati

urine: allow me to explain

frank: theres nothing to explain you cockleaf

urine: the ways are italian

urine: Italy has 5 letters 

urine: so does Mikey

urine: Mikey's surname is way

urine: as is Gerard's obviously

urine: way has 3 letters 

urine: there are 3 sides of a triangle

urine: BOOM 

frank: o shit

frank: they're illuminati confirmed

frank: gee i can't believe youd keep this from me

frank: mikey we were such good friends

frank: why these secrets

frank: y

mom: not to say it isn't true but how long have you been working on that brendon?

urine: many days

mom: and did the thought first occur when you were high

urine: mayyyybeeee

mom: why are my children this way

mom: did i raise them like this

mom: i have failed as a mother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really nervous because I have a history project due tommorow and it's kind of important and everyone's stressing about it and i need to get to school super early to print it and hope it's the right format. Also it's midnight so this will make no sense whatsoever but i need to update so here.


	4. spork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pete is still a spork

tyjo: guys who wants to come over im bored

sugarcane: i dont like you

tyjo: excuse u 

sugarcane: i am excused y thank u

tyjo: who else wants to come around

tyjo: really

tyjo: really u fuckers

tyjo: fine if you come over yall can pet the cat i stole from josh

jawsh: YOU STOLE HIM

jawsh: DID YOU NOT SEE THE HUGE MISSING POSTERS

jawsh: THAT WERE EVERYWHERE

tyjo: i did but idc he loves me more than u

jawsh: tru

jawsh: im coming over to pet him

peetza: i want to pet the mew

peetza: tyler can i 

peetza: can i can i can i

tyjo: yes you spork

peetza: im not a spork guys

tyjo: you are though

jawsh: you actually are

peetza: im not what does that even mean

jawsh: it means youre a spork you spork

tyjo: yeh u dumb spork

peetza: not a spork

tyjo: are u coming or not spork theres a cat waiting

tyjo: and i made hot chocolate

peetza: 

peetza: sure fam be right over


	5. daddy jesus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> daddy Jesus makes Tyler happy

urine: heheheh disrupting philosophy is fun

jawsh: what did you do

urine: we were debating and it was boring

urine: so i stood up and yelled 'jesus wants my dick"

mom: you may think he is joking

mom: but no

mom: i can confirm it 

jawsh: brendon why

jawsh: i am 100% done with you at the moment

urine: *666

mom: brendon we've talked about this

mom: no summoning the beast during school time

urine: sorry mom

jawsh: sorry mom

tyjo: i want jesus' dick

tyjo: jesus mmmm daddy fuck me

jawsh: TYLER WTF

jawsh: WHERE DID YOU EVEN COME FROM

urine: @tyler same

tyjo: no daddy jesus is all mine

urine: oh well if im not wanted

tyjo: ahhhh jesus 

tyjo: jesus=100% daddy

mom: i give up

tyjo: MMM YAS IM A SLUT FOR JESUS 

jawsh: somebody dave me

jawsh: *savw

jawsh: *save godamnit

frank: it is I saint frank here to save you from the dark unholy grasp of sin

tyjo: mmm yes sin grasp me yes tighter

frank: now tyler that is the kind of sinful language that gets you a time out

tyjo: punish me

frank: repent and you shall be forgiven

jawsh: all hail saint frank

jawsh: hail

jawsh: hail

frank: why thank

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok but this is based on my friends they literally say this shit everyday


	6. sup sluts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Jack multitask
> 
> this is stupid but o well

Gaskank: hey sluts hows it goin

sugarcane: very well thanks m8

sinammon: im not a slut I'm just always dtf

sinnamon: and so is my boyfriend

Gaskank: Honey you're a slut like the rest of us admit it

sugarcane: the slut squad

sinnamon: honey don't you have a Jack to be fucking or some shit

Gaskank: well unlike you fuckers I can multitask

sinnamon: ugh no

sinnamon: TMI

sugarcane: nice one skank

Barakitten: sup sluts

sugarcane: sup

sinnamon: fuk off not a slut

Gaskank: you are though

sinnamon: I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now

Barakitten: ok Alex n I r dun who wants to meet up

sinnamon: you actually want to meet up

sugarcane: im down

sinnamon: after sex

Gaskank: y not

sinnamon: eh sure whatever


	7. Mr. Lero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idfk im bored ok

frank: im bored someone disrupt my math class

frank: seriously im so bored

frank: tyler ill pay u if u do something

tyjo: k sure fam

frank: thx dude that was epic

jawsh: i genuinely hate you Tyler

mom: wait what did he do

jawsh: he jumped onto the table and shouted 'can we all appreciate how perfect Josh is'

jawsh: then he started chanting

tyjo: your welcome

frank: you're 

tyjo: shut up Mr. Lero

frank: with pleasure 

frank changed their name to Mr. Lero

jawsh: this chat was a horrible idea

tyjo: ah but you havent left yet have u

Mr. Lero: oooo shit

jawsh: hmmmm

jawsh: you got me there

 

froyo: ahhh yes school goodbye until tomorrow

mom: Joe that made no grammatical sense

froyo: neither does ur mum

peetza: oooooook shit rekt

peetza: officially rekt

peetza: guys I found an ice cream truck who wants to b cool

mom: sure

froyo: meet u in 10 

mom: Joe why do you need 10 mins

froyo: I can't find any shirts

mom: HOW

froyo: shut up I only own like 4 shirts ok

mom: god my friends are so weird


	8. pray4tyjo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Say hello to harmless Ray

Barakitten: ayo sluts who wants to hang out

tyjo: no thx im in hiding

Barakitten: seems legit

Moikey: why the fuk u hiding

tyjo: I accidentally punched this scary dude and now I'm really afraid

tyjo: if I'm not in school tomorrow call the police

Barakiten: prayin 4 u

Moikey: ooh sheet dude ur fuked

tyjo: I know man

froyo: wait wat was this guy like

tyjo: he had big poofy hair and he was really tall dude idk I ran 

froyo: dude that's Ray don't be scared

froyo: he's like harmless

Barakitten: idk who this is

froyo: seriously he's super chill im adding him brb

Moikey: Dude you punched Ray? Wow he's like the most zen guy ever

froyo added rayofsun to the chat

rayofsun: um hi

tyjo: NO WHY JOE

rayofsun: wait r u the dude who punched me

tyjo: maybe

Barakitten: this is getting interesting

rayofsun: dude chill I'm not gonna hurt u

Moikey: see

rayofsun: ahhh Mikey my friend

Moikey: ahhh Ray

Barakitten: ahhh Jack

Barakitten: also now that's sorted someone please come over


	9. beebolicious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> brendons too bootylicious 4 u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smol baby chapter

urine: I strongly relate to beyonce

peetza: hmmmm I get u

urine: Pete do u wanna form a beyonce tribute

peetza: sure fam

strawb: count me in

urine: ahhh yes

urine: it is happening

peetza: world domination 

strawb: yes

mom: why must you be this way


	10. gangly limbed hedgehog penis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dogs and stuff

peetza: ok but dogs are so precious??? like what did humans do? to deserve them??

rayofsun: dude i honestly have no idea

tyjo: why this sudden appreciation

peetza: [video]

rayofsun: what was that

peetza: art

tyjo: thats actually beautiful im crying

urine: why the fuck does that exist who made that why are they barking the tune of ghostbusters what the ever loving fuckle

rayofsun: i just cant with all of you

tyjo: brendon calm your tits

rayofsun: like seriously

rayofsun: why 

peetza: brendon how dare

peetza: i love those dogs i will go to my grave thinking of that song and it will be played at my funeral

urine: meh cats are better

tyjo: shit

rayofsun: crap brendon no

peetza: hoW DARE??!?!?!!

urine: woah

urine: dude 

tyjo: pete calm

rayofsun: someone get patrick

sinnamon: im here

tyjo; wtf why didnt you step in sooner

sinnamon: it wasnt necessary

urine: dude im sorry dogs are cool

peetza: damn right youre fucking sorry

peetza: i really want one of thise spidery dogs

sinnamon: w h a t

tyjo: the hell are they

rayofsun: oh i know what you mean theyre cute

tyjo: can you explain this phenomenon 

sinnamon: hes shown me pictures they look nohting like spiders they just have long legs and walk weirdly

peetza: theyre cute

rayofsun: sounds like mikey

tyjo: OH SHIT

tyjo: shots fired

Barakitten: spider dog

Barakitten: spider dog

rayofsun: jack no

tyjo: jack yes

Barakitten: does whatever a dog/spider can

rayofsun: its time to stop

peetza: this is great

Barakitten: cant spin webs of any size

Barakitten: yknow, because hes a dog and stuff

sinnamon: i honestly feel blessed to have read

tyjo: at this point my main question is how do you know the lyrics

Barakitten: hey i know stuff

rayofsun: sure you do

peetza: beauty in motion

tyjo: but also are we all going to ignore ray's epic shot at mikey

sinnamon: its true the guy looks like a gangly limbed hedgehog penis

peetza: oh my god he actually does what the hell

rayofsun: mind blown

Barakitten: what the f u c k 

tyjo: this revolutionised the way i see the world

sinnamon: its at times like this i remember why im on this chat

peetza: this is our legacy im proud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 90% is an actual conversation i have had with my friends like the dog thing and the spiderman theme stuff and i have a friend who actually looks like a gangly hedgehog penis why am i like this


End file.
